I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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