I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
