My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
