call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
