yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
