So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
