Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
