I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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