drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
they need to just BURY HIM!
handjob tips. give me some.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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