Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
