We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
