He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
