The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
