Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
