i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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