I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
