it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize