What did we do last night that was yellow?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
