Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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