Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
