just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
