Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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