Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
