OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
