Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
