Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
