Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
