New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
