if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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