We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
