Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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