I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I died a long time ago.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
