Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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