just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
