R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize