we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
