I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
