LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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