Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
