Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
