I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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