he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sorry about my life...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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