Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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