So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
