Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
