hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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