I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
