Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
