My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
