So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
