im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
pop tarts are not kleenex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
