don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
