i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize