Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
