go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
