I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
