Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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