There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
