your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
