so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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