Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
