Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
