I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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