do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize