i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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