I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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